Swellbow - Split

There are some terrible bands out there in Ventura County, but this band clearly blows more than any other. As we all know skate punk died when most of the stars in the skateboarding punk rock community over-dosed on heroin and or cocaine from partying too much and Swellbow is clearly one of those god awful 80's revivalist skate punk bands.

Photograph taken by John Williams

Famous Child Star, Joseph Mercado (Singer of Swellblow) is the poster boy for modern suburbia punk rock which most of us have come to call via Black America "Yuppie Youth" [Yuppie kid I hate and your gang of inbreds]. I personally have witnessed Joey Mercado's supreme faggotry on a higher level. I have yet to see this young 12 year old boy's penis and neither has he seen mine. I mean we went on tour together and he wouldn't let the guitarist of Violent Americans spoon with him after getting out of jail. Talk about helping your fellow punk rocker.

The split opens with titled track (Rip it Up) more realistically a blatant rip off of Kiss's beloved 80's single (Lick it Up). That's the only reason kids sing that song, not because it's catchy, or by the fact that Swellbow stole (Rip it Up), the band Adolescents from the 80's played it as well. However the Adolescents are nowhere nearly as gay as Swellbow is, so they can play it without people having to question their sexuality.

Photograph taken by William Moncayo

The tape fast forwards to (Bad Habits), but to me the only bad habit is Luis Amezcua (Bassist of Swellblow) and his massive tendency to take his clothes off after midnight. No joke that every place we  went to, Luis had to expose his penis with a big bright smile. What kind of homosexuality is that! The song is supposed to be about girls, but who the fuck sings about girls anymore? This is not 1985. Milo has gone to college, music is no longer on MTV, we finally got through to you, i wasted my time on conformity, and i know how old I am.


(Perfect Life) just reminds the audience how good Joseph Mercado has it by talking about how perfect his own life is! You might think he's singing about how shitty rich people are and how [Perfect] they think they are, but NO! Joey is only singing about himself! And he knows that Luis Amezcua lives with 20 of his cousins and Frankie (Drummer of Swellbow) lives in the forest of Moorpark but only can rub in their face about how good he has it!

Photograph taken by Williams Moncayo

Skate punk bands obviously were disliked in highschool, so it only makes sense that (Big Shot Jock) makes an appearance on this tape by talking about how horrible jocks are.  They clearly do not like the fans of Weekend Nachos or Madball and most likely Hatebreed because they want them to go away. No were not talking about [Go away, never gonna need you, never gonna need you] of the chorus of the latest Violent Americans single elitist off their upcoming 7 inch, but a place of solitude and loneliness. Possibly a place where Andy (Guitarist of Swellbow) crys himself to sleep at night knowing that his jock peers are truly "Big Shots"

Photograph taken by Emily Charnock

Of coarse clearly another band trying to be just like WAVVES or Katy Perry and having a illuminati reference or maybe Swellblow is just trying to become a beloved powerviolence band like the other 10,000,000. This split clearly is god awful and should be only taken sarcastically. Violent Americans side to be reviewed soon!


Listen to the split here: http://swellbowsftb.bandcamp.com/

Written by John Williams